XMFC/Kiss and Control

[guideshapelead]

The next morning, Charles is awake far earlier than he normally would be, for once not having to be woken up by Erik's insistence. He's quiet and distant throughout breakfast, and with no classes first thing he quickly withdraws himself to his study.

It doesn't matter what Erik or anyone else says, he's still in turmoil over what he had almost done to Emma. He no longer trusts his own control. His powers have never truly scared him before now.

Comments

[diecastking]

At mid-morning break, Erik seeks out Charles. He had been surprised to wake and find his lover gone, and hadn't wanted to confront his sullen silence at breakfast in front of the students.

However, he cannot let his lover wallow in self-pity.

//Liebe?// he thinks, from outside Charles' door.

[guideshapelead]

//Come in// Charles sighs, pushing away the marking he's not been concentrating on all morning.

[diecastking]

Erik steps into Charles' office and closes the door behind him.

He takes one look at his worn lover and crosses the room, placing a chaste kiss on his lips.

[guideshapelead]

Charles accepts the kiss without complaint, even giving a little back, though his heart clearly isn't in it.

//I'm sorry// He at least feels guilty enough to apologise. //I'm being awful//

[diecastking]

//I just hate seeing you so lost// Erik can only be honest with him.

[guideshapelead]

//I thought I knew who I was// Charles sighs again.

//I thought I could control myself.//

[diecastking]

//Perhaps we can work on your control?// Erik offers. Training, at least, is something he understands.

[guideshapelead]

//How do you suggest we do that?// Charles doesn't mean to sound as bitter as he does, but he's short of ideas.

[diecastking]

Erik pauses thoughtfully.

//You could attempt to move me against active resistance? Or plant an idea in my mind?//

[guideshapelead]

//Why would I want to do that?// Charles looks appalled at the idea.

//I want to make sure I don't do things like that.//

[diecastking]

//No, Charles. This is exactly how we keep ourselves safe. How we protect our enemies. We alter their memories, subdue them//

Erik is intent now, very taken with this idea.

[guideshapelead]

//Make them blow their own brains out?// Charles leaves the question hanging between them.

[diecastking]

But Erik ignores his anger. They need to talk about this frankly.

//Control, Charles. It is your choice what you do with it//

[guideshapelead]

Charles is silent for a long while, stubborn to the end. But in the end, he's the one sighing and deflating in his chair.

//I'm scared of myself, Erik//

[diecastking]

//Someone wise once told me that true focus lies somewhere between rage and serenity. You've lost your balance, Charles, that's all//

Erik kneels in front of his lover. //We can find it together//

[guideshapelead]

//My serenity// Charles agrees, quiet even within Erik's mind.

//I'd... appreciate your help, Erik//

[diecastking]

//When would you like to start?// Erik asks, leaning down to kiss Charles again. He's proud of him, even if Charles can't yet believe in himself again.

[guideshapelead]

//This evening?// Charles is busy all afternoon with lessons and training sessions. But this evening, he's happy to be all Erik's.

[diecastking]

//This evening// Erik promises.

[guideshapelead]

Charles cheers up a little as the afternoon goes on, busy enough to keep himself distracted from his mental turmoil, and knowing that he and Erik will address his issues properly later on.

By the time dinner is finished with, Charles is managing to smile genuinely again.

[diecastking]

Erik is pleased that Charles is smiling again and amuses himself by discretely moving teaspoons to stick to Charles' chair.

He idly wonders how many he could hold there at once and wonders if Charles would consider that appropriate training.

[guideshapelead]

//What are you doing?// Charles asks as he notices the spoons clinging to his chair. He's actually laughing as he watches.

[diecastking]

Erik tries to stifle his laughter. It does not match his "stern teacher" image.

And then adds three more spoons.

//Training//

[guideshapelead]

//I already know you can move teaspoons, Erik// Charles points out.

//That's not exactly training//

[diecastking]

Erik starts adding dessert spoons along the handles, drawing the attention of some of the children.

//But how many spoons exactly?//